Hiya guys. I’m taking a few moments for lunch and wanted to give an update while I can. Hell week is hell week for a reason. Saturday was just a mess. We moved from the back door to the CH. Why is it every single time we do a move it rains? Luckily, we were able to take all of load one inside before it poured. They had to go back for the train platform and interior. Saturday was dealing with setting up everything, construction (there wasn’t much), organization, finalizing lights to the best they could, getting sound to work, spiking the stage and hooking up our pianist’s keyboard. When our actors arrived, we had cue to cue and tested out literally everything as it happened. I was very frustrated because it’s a whole lot different being on the actual wings of the stage on headset vs. watching from an audience point of view like we do at the back door when we are practicing. I had to get used to who needed to be on stage and wings at lights up or who were walking on as the lights go up. For the ones on stage right entrances (where I can’t see in the dark if they’re there or not) I had to come up with a signal so I would know because I’m the one telling the booth lights up. We had a few mishaps here and there.. but what do you expect when this weekend was the first time everyone was together after starting practicing in November.
So, not only does 90% of the entrances and exits happen on stage left (where I am located on headset) but a lot of the pieces of furniture live also. When it was time to clear the stage right before the last scene of Act I, they pushed all the furniture to where I was completely blocked in… talking about hyperventilating with anxiety due to claustrophobia. It went sky high. I was like, “Um. We can’t do this. This can’t be here. I can’t be blocked in like this.” (Even though it was only for one scene right before intermission and I could do whatever I wanted with it.) It only took a few seconds for me to logistically think about the size of furniture and what room I had to work with it. So now the ones helping is putting the furniture in places where I’m not blocked in. Anything that basically came up on my end, I fixed right away. Sunday’s cue to cue / lights / sound check rehearsal went better, Monday and Tuesday even more smoothly. Tuesday evening one of the actors brought me his money bag and said, “the handle broke” and I’m like, “Well, shit.” (Our director totally called that happening so I had to tell her she was right.) So tonight I have to fix that. But overall, it’s getting better. It really does take a day or two to get things moving along as they should be. (And an entire village to work together.) That’s for sure. Here we are arrived at Wednesday… our last dress rehearsal and performances start tomorrow. Exciting! Every night I have arrived home super late and not getting to bed until about 11 or midnight as I was anticipating. I’ve even fallen asleep texting the last couple days. Oops.
Usually we have another person helping backstage, but once again, even though I asked a few people their schedules wouldn’t allow it… I’m working alone. Which is fine. Because I can get things done twice as fast because I already know everything on my to-do list and when I want to do them. I’ve had to tell everyone several times that there’s not even any way I can get to them during the show because I need to be on headset the entire time (at least for the beginning) in case there are issues. That part makes me nervous.
I’m so happy I finally have my chance at stage managing a main stage show with GCP. It’s been a long time coming but I’m glad my first time was with a musical where there’s a thousand things happening and with this many people involved. I now have the experience I need to write on my resume if I ever wanted to do paid theater. The challenge with stage managing though is sometimes they have to have technical experience which is a whole other ballgame because I’m terrified of working lights/sound at the CH especially since the sound booth you have to go up a tiny straight up and down ladder and you’re boxed in. Also in the works (after this show is over) is figuring out what jobs I can get using the skills I’ve learned as a SM. I really, really, really want to get into catering/food organization or event planning. I’ve loved helping clean up at the synagogue when we’ve had dinners (apparently throwing things in the trash is relaxing?) and setting up for events… I’ve been doing that since I was involved as a teacher’s aide in middle school. That’s when I actually did know a thing or two about sound and lights. Anyway, I have a lot to do once this show is over, as I’m planning to take my next steps asap asap asap so I can move on with life!
I adopted two new baby hermit crabs… now I have 6 total. I actually have them at work with me because I am going to take them to rehearsal for the second day in a row. Just having them next to me is calming and I don’t feel stressed out. It’s so funny because I had a couple of friends say to me, “I have been thinking about what you can name your two new crabs!” And I’m like, “Does.. that make me a bad crab mom because I haven’t even thought about that.” Ha. I’ve been too busy with making sure all my responsibilities are taken care of and the rehearsals are running smoothly.
I’m having an extremely hard time with missing Eisenhower right now. I used to just stare at him, in his little tiny crabby eyes, wondering what’s inside his mind. I miss his waking me up in the morning. I miss his grand personality. There are a few friends of mine in the musical that remembers Eisenhower too and we were talking E memories the last few nights. I’m still just so heart broken. I’m adopting crabs to try to find my next E, and maybe that makes me so horrible. I feel guilty after I admitted that the other day. Someone said, “You’ll never find another Eisenhower. He was something special.” Yep. They’re right. The good news is some of them are starting to make noise at night which makes me happy to know they’re active. I’m seeing personality…. except I saw something today I hope I don’t see again. Adirae was bothering Chailah and Chailah took her claw and was about ready to pinch Adirae’s face. I separated them. I think Adirae might be the closest one to E. She’s the most curious crab of them all. I just wish she wouldn’t go and bother the others like I witnessed today. Even Havali was giving her the claw and she’s the most chillest “I don’t give a damn” crab I have.
On a different note, on the 4th day of the new year, Saturday, I went to the mall just to walk around in the evening… after the long 9-5 day we had at the CH… and I decided to do something for myself. I’ve been in so much pain the last couple of years and since I can’t afford to go to the doctor and have them run a million tests, I looked into ordering some cbd oil. I am hoping and praying that this move will help with my pain and also the depression and anxiety and whatever else that pops up. I’ve been so against this treatment, and well, never say never. I just hope it works. It won’t be arriving until next week so no update yet.
I’ve got a song in my heart and it’s you.
It’s always been you
I really miss you.
My heartstrings are being pulled
by the bunches and knotted up
tangled, by the emotions that was of yesterday,
and yearning for something of the future.
Unspoken requests from the Universe
little droplets of starlight–stardust–
the wishes, the hopes, the prayers.
That one day there will be a way,
and we’ll be together again some day.
Maybe I’ll pencil it in
just in case I can help make it come true.
But for now, I have to let you go,
work on me and my soul.
I am walking away now…
Always with the goal: we’ll be together again